concerned

This parent is concerned about her child going off to college while dealing with anorexia. Getting eating disorder help in college depends most on how willing the college student is to find support, but also how much support she gets from parents and loved ones at home. This concerned parent asks some great questions, which I will try to address at the end. Here is what this mom wrote:
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I am a concerned parent who just sent her child off to college with Anorexia. I am worried....how will she cope?.....how will she decide what to eat at the cafeteria that she feels is her place of doom?....will she eat? We have a plan in place and support but it is oh so frightening to send off your child and releasing the control of her nutritional needs back to her....can she make the right choices to thrive? so many questions? so many fears and praying that the trust I have given her will be realized. Will she confide in her roommates.....will they show compassion....will they think she is just a freak of nature....will they care.

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College cafeterias can be a scary place, and your concern for your daughter's ability to face this challenge is understandable. I think the key, as you have eluded to here, is her ability to utilize the support you have put in place. Support from the school and hopefully friends in her college community could make the daunting experience of having to face a college cafeteria much less stressful. If you can support her in utilizing the support in her college community, hopefully the experience can be a positive one and she can make choices that will help her rather than hurt her.

Your concern about what the other students will think is also understandable. My guess is she will seek out people who understand what she is going through. Thankfully, colleges have a broad range of students with a broad range of experiences. Likely she will be able to find like-minded people who won't judge her and could be an excellent form of support. If the college has some sort of eating disorder support group, my guess is she can at least find like-minded students in that group. She will have to be on the lookout, however, if she does find friends in that kind of forum, for those who are still thick in their eating disorder symptoms rather than those who are looking toward eating disorder recovery.

I don't say that to add to your anxiety - it's a reality that you and your daughter will have to face. It's best if you prepare yourself for a potential problem rather than get blindsided by it if it does come up.

Finally I want to address your part in all of this. As you said, trust is a huge piece of what you have given your daughter by allowing her to go off to college at this point in her recovery / illness (I'm not exactly sure where she stands right now, sorry). But that leaves you, obviously, in a state of anxiety and worry over whether she will be okay. Getting support for yourself is key here. You deserve support just as you believe you need to support your daughter. I hope you have support - people to talk to who understand, or, better yet, a therapist to help you deal with all of this. You deserve that support.

If you would like to consider some coaching to help you deal with this, please visit http://www.LifeCoachWendy.com and contact me through that site. I would be happy to talk with you.

Good luck, and thank you for reaching out and voicing your concerns. Your daughter is lucky to have you.