Downs and Ups

by Amber
(San Diego)

I've never been a girly girl. In so many ways - clothes, make-up, gossip, boy craziness...and perhaps truest of all, in my eating habits. Now I knew what typical junk food was and knew that I shouldn't be putting it in my body. But I seriously did not see anything wrong with eating a cheese sandwich for dinner every night of the week. I'm a smart girl, but somehow, I never really learned the ins and outs of proper nutrition.

Body image, dieting, moderation, and good decision making are difficult for me. Talking about weight is a personal taboo. Yet somewhere in my mind, I think that I will one day magically know how to properly care for myself in these aspects of my life. In the last year, I have lost and regained 50-60 pounds. From celebrating my achievement of no longer being categorized as obese... to inching back up to 10 pounds more than my initial starting weight.

When shopping, I continually buy pants that don’t quite button or are far too snug, because I’ve deluded myself into thinking that I will never be this large again. I am on the verge of making forward motion, about to reach a healthier weight for my height and body type. Where does this leave me? With nothing to wear but elastic-waist skirts.

Another thing. I buy workout dvds, exercise equipment, and research recreation classes, only to neglect to ever follow through. I’ve decided I have got to start out small. Couch potatoes don’t do well in kickboxing right away. So, my new mantra is walk. Park farther away from my destination. Take the stairs. Limit sedentary activities like TV, computer, and reading time. These combined with a renewed commitment to drinking plenty of water and fueling my body with a proper balance of proteins, carbs, and healthy fats, should have me starting off on the right foot once again.