From Childhood Bulimia to Teenage Bulimia to Adult Bulimia... This is My Recovery Story

by Shaye
(New Zealand)

Hi, my name is Shaye. I used to be bulimic. This is my story...

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Living in the Darkness
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Wind back the clock 6 years and I was in a very different, very dark place.

I couldn't get through a single hour without binging and purging. I couldn't get through a night of sleep without sneaking to the kitchen (read more on night eating syndrome).

I couldn't live the life I wanted to live - or be the person I wanted to be.

I was a liar, a thief, a hater. I wasn't me. I was somebody else... Somebody confused, scared and afraid. Somebody very, very ill.

I felt as hopeless as a cat trying to catch it's shadow. I felt alone.

Bulimia Nervosa ruled my life - my existence.

It consumed me when I was 8 years old - and with every passing year it had tightened it's grip.

I was now 20... and close to death.

I knew I had to fight bulimia - I knew I had to beat it - but after so long, I had no idea how...

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Standing at the crossroads...
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I had tried a hundred times in the past to beat bulimia - and failed. No matter how many promises I made to myself that I wouldn't binge and purge - the urges were just too strong.

Like a heroine addict to their drug - I was to bulimia.

But there comes a time when you either choose to fight for recovery or choose a sad, lonely life and a premature death.

I was at the crossroads and I had to make my decision.

I was terrified... For over a decade, the most important thing in my life had been to keep my bulimia a secret... But, I'd decided to walk the road of bulimia recovery - and that meant speaking out.

It was time to break the silence and the shame.

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Meeting Amanda
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I remember sitting in the waiting room. My body was shaking like a leaf and sweat was working it's way out of every pore on my body.

I had thoughts about leaving - running away... But, I had been running for too long.

I knew it was time...

And then, a warm smile greeted me. I stood up and followed her into her office.

Her name was Amanda - and she would be the first person to hear my bulimia story.

I was too ashamed to share all the details at first - but gradually I opened up. I realized that I wasn't the first bulimic patient she'd had...


And, maybe... just maybe... I wasn't such a freak after all.

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Leading Up To My Recovery
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My meeting with Amanda became a weekly thing. Each time I met with her - I felt stronger.

She taught me techniques and tips to help me change my behaviors and distorted ways of thinking...

I began to understand that ending bulimia isn't like flicking a switch. You can't simply make a promise to not binge and purge... You need to make changes that run much deeper than that.

I began to understand that to truly recover from bulimia - you need to make changes to your brain on a sub-conscious level.

You need to change your thinking, your perceptions and your self esteem.

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Finally Free From Bulimia
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After 1 year of seeing Amanda - I was finally confident to call myself bulimia free. I had completely stopped binging and purging - all bulimia signs were gone and bulimic thoughts were non-existent in my mind.

I can't describe the absolute joy that I felt... And still feel - to this day! Anyone who has truly beaten an eating disorder will know what I mean!

You see the world in a different light...

Colors are more vibrant

Laughter is louder

Smiles are genuine

and...

Food is nourishing and delicious.

And... Guess what?

I don't even regret my decade long bulimia battle. It made me who I am - and I love that person.

Bulimia made me strong, it made me resilient and it made me grateful.

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Your Bulimia Recovery
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I hope that my story of suffering and healing helps you to take the first steps of recovery. Don't put it off for another day - trust me... Life is so beautiful - you don't want to miss out!

If you would like to read more genuine bulimia recovery advice and stories - I know that you'll love my website: your-bulimia-recovery.com.

Please feel free to look through it as much as you need.

If you would like to learn the methods I used to change my sub-conscious mind and recover from bulimia... That's covered on my Bulimia Self Help page - click here.

Everyone who has beaten bulimia has done so because they've changed their subconscious minds. I believe that this is the only way to enjoy permanent bulimia recovery.

Stay Strong...
Lots of Love,
Shaye