Psychological Effects of Eating Disorders

The psychological effects of eating disorders can be confusing. On the outside, someone with an eating disorder appears to be the ideal child or friend. They tend to do what is expected, following rules, being a high achiever, putting others needs before their own. They are the quintessential people pleasers. But on the inside, it's a very different story.

I was always a good kid. I followed rules, didn't give my parents many problems. I was a good friend too. I would do anything for anyone. I was even pretty good at anticipating people's needs, lending a helping hand or a shoulder to cry on as soon as a friend realized they needed one. Most people would have described me as confident. I didn't much care about what other people thought (at least that's what people would have said about me). I seemed to be secure in my opinions. I excelled at everything I did, whether it was sports, school, acting, sports medicine.

But on the inside I felt horrible. I hated myself, hated my body, thought I was stupid, and generally felt like I didn't fit in. I didn't feel confident at all - I always felt like there were others who were better than I was. It didn't matter if I got a 98 on an exam. Someone always did better, and that's what I focused on. Self-esteem clearly didn't live in the same zip code as I did.

I didn't have any close friends, even though I had a lot of friends. No one really "got" me. But if you asked my high school friends now, they would say I had tons of friends. I never felt like that. As a teenager, this was one of the hardest psychological effects of eating disorders.

Nothing I ever did was good enough for me. I was a perfectionist. So whenever I did anything, I couldn't ever do it good enough because it wasn't perfect. I would focus on the one, minor flaw ... something no one else probably even noticed ... and that took away any good feelings I could have about what I did.

I hated my body. It's funny - my parents recently said they knew I felt like I was fat when I was a kid. But their impression was I was "normal." I didn't feel normal. I always felt too big. I didn't care if my "too big" was all muscle ... or mostly muscle. I was still too big compared to everyone else.

I didn't feel like I had control over anything in my life. That also had a lot to do with the perfectionist piece. If I didn't do it good enough (whatever "it" was), then I failed and that felt out of control. While I would do things for other people, it never seemed like it was enough. And so again, I felt out of control.

My eating disorder was my way of gaining back control of my life. Unfortunately, as is always the case with eating disorders, that control is illusive. I thought I was in control, when really, the eating disorder was in control of me. It didn't help me to feel any better about myself ... in fact, it made me feel worse.

I think eating disorders really could be classified as psychological eating disorders. So much of it is psychological ... emotional ... mental. Unfortunately, we tend to downplay this part of eating disorders. At least that is my experience. -Wendy Sheppard, MSW

Psychological Effects of Eating Disorders - What someone with an eating disorder "looks like" to the outside world

Like I said above, we're the perfect child, the perfect student, the perfect friend, the perfect girlfriend, the perfect wife. We are perfectionists. That means that with everything we do, we strive for perfection from ourselves.

It's funny because we don't expect the same from everyone else. It's okay if someone has a messy house or doesn't get a good grade on a test. But if that's true for us, we are devastated.

Another one of the psychological effects of eating disorders is we follow rules. Whether they are rules other people put on us (even as simple as crossing the street in a crosswalk with a green traffic light and a white person signaling it's okay to cross), or whether they are rules we put on ourselves (get up at 5:30 every morning, make coffee, get a shower, get dressed then go about the day), we don't break the rules ... or we rarely do.

We can always be counted on. If you were to talk to teachers who had us in school, they would probably describe us as the student the teacher could count on to help hand out the papers, always had our hand up immediately in response to most questions, would mentor younger students if asked, was involved in many school activities. We would even be known for offering our help to the teacher unprovoked. And we would often be found helping other students out in class when they didn't get a concept. Of course, this isn't necessarily one of the bad psychological effects of eating disorders ....

We were usually pretty cheery, upbeat and full of energy. If someone else was down, we'd be the one giving them the boost they need. If something needed to get done, even if we had 7 other things we had to do, we'd manage to get it all done ... and early to boot.

If someone had a problem, we'd be the one to fix it. We'd figure out the best way to solve the problem and either do it ourselves, or make sure the person with the problem knew exactly how to fix the problem. And if we didn't know how to fix your problem, you can bet we'd go research a solution and come back to you with it.

At home one of the psychological effects of eating disorders is we never really gave our parents problems. We always wanted to be the good girl and never disappoint anyone. Or at least we tried .... We did our chores. We helped out around the house. We didn't break many rules if at all. We were the responsible child our parents could count on not to get into trouble. And if we had siblings, usually they hated us because we were the perfect daughter. We got great grades and everything we did we excelled at. Usually our siblings paled in comparison. They thought we were the favorite in our parents' eyes. And usually our good behavior magnified their not-so-good behavior.

Psychological Effects of Eating Disorders - what it was really like on the inside

Remember, on the inside nothing was the same as what it looked like on the outside. We were never perfect enough. This is probably one of the universal psychological effects of eating disorders ... nearly all of us have perfectionist tendencies.

So the thoughts would begin - You're stupid. What were you thinking anyway? What in the world made you think you could do that? You idiot. Next time you should just stay out of it. Next time you should just not even try to do it. Next time you should study harder, you idiot. It's your own damn fault you couldn't do it. The negative thoughts are endless.

We begin to feel like we stick out in the world. This can lead to social isolation - where we just don't want to be around people. On the inside we are very depressed (how could you not be feeling that badly about yourself?) regardless of the face we put on for the outside world.

The guilt and shame are overwhelming, again, probably one of the universal psychological effects of eating disorders. We feel guilty about everything. Everything is our fault. We take the world on our shoulders (as if we were that powerful) and every little thing that goes wrong, we feel like we could have ... should have stopped it.

The anxiety about needing to be perfect - to do the right thing, to say the right thing, to be the right way, to look the right way - rules. The obsessive thoughts ... thinking ahead to anticipate how to make everything just right can take over to the point where we just can't do anything. This is can also lead to social isolation - if we're not good enough and will never be, then why go out and be just so wrong in the world? It's too anxiety producing to think about how to go out in the world and be who we think we have to be, so it's easier just to avoid it altogether.

Getting Over It

One of the hardest part of the psychological effects of eating disorders is getting past the thoughts that take over. When you've felt the same way about yourself for so long ... negatively thought about yourself ... it's hard to break that cycle. Those thoughts can linger even beyond the physical symptoms of an eating disorder. Even when the symptoms are gone, you still need to work on the negative thought patterns. Those can take a long time to change, and can be some of the toughest psychological effects of eating disorders.

Go from Psychological Effects of Eating Disorders back to Effects of Eating Disorders

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