The Eternal Eating Issue

by Leslie
(Pensacola, Florida)

As a teenager, I always struggled with my self-image. People told me I was beautiful, but there was always someone thinner, someone with more friends, or someone with a boyfriend. Looking back on it, I was an attractive teenager, but I couldn’t see it at the time. All I saw was someone with a spare tire around my mid-section and no boyfriend. However would I change it?

That’s when I stopped eating and began exercising obsessively. I counted every calorie, and would consume as little as 500 calories a day while spending every free minute exercising. My normal weight was around 125 (at 5’3”), and I dropped down to 100 pounds (see anorexia symptoms). I thought I looked great, but looking back on it, I looked sick and weak.

At every time of significant change in my life, I would go back to this pattern, but alternating it with binge eating. Food gave me comfort, it never told me no, and it would always love me. I went from eating and being happy to feeling sick and guilty, to starving and over-exercise, at which point I would reward myself with a binge.

In my life now, I am a few pounds overweight, and I am okay with that. I am in good enough shape to play ball with my kids until they tire out, I eat some junk food but without binge eating, and I still struggle with my self-image. But since marrying my best friend and having three wonderful kids, I now know that they love me whether I weigh 100 or 150. Life is too short to obsess about what’s on your plate.

The solution is to find and be happy with you. Once you’ve done that, you can begin to tackle your food issues. Find someone to talk to that will help you through it. If you’re embarrassed, talk to a professional or call a support hotline. The help is out there, and you will amazed when you look back at this time in your life and see how far you’ve come.